The End is Another Beginning [El Fin es un Otro Principio]

After another journey of two flights and at least eight hours of driving, I'm back home. I've spent the last few days processing and trying to deal with another change in culture. As I talk through the work I did and all the experiences, one thing is clear: it was undoubtedly God-ordained. The Lord has been kind enough for the past two months to give me clear signs along the way--little whispers of peace that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.

Now, I have to find that peace again, but I know the Lord will again be faithful. I know He will, in time, show me my future and whether it includes Guatemala again. I hope that it does. Until then, I can only thank Him for the opportunities and ask what is next.

Thank you to everyone who supported me...financially, in prayer and through encouragement. I have been blessed by each one of you and I pray that the people I encountered in Guatemala were blessed in turn. Please continue to pray for this beautiful, but broken country. Pray for the kids, the parents, the lost people, and those who haven't yet been given the opportunities they deserve. Pray in faith knowing that God can do anything He wants in any situation He chooses.

Treasures Found [Tesoros Encontrados]

In the midst of the tragedy in the communities outside the dump, there are inexplicable moments of hope and incredible opportunities for God's love. For six weeks in the American summer, Casa del Alfarero hosts mission teams from the US and they spend their time pouring into the people in the colonies. Every day I went to work, teams built new houses for families who used to live in tin shacks. The last week I was there, we built a home for a man and his family. Three years ago, Juan had prayed for a new home with, Greg, a visiting missionary from the States. This summer, Greg came back to the dump for the sixth year in a row...only this time it was to build a home for Juan and his family. The Lord answers prayers...in His timing and in His way, but the amazing thing is that He still uses people, we are weak people, but He uses us.

Around the dump, the people have no idea of their worth and talents. They have rarely, if ever, been given an opportunity, but Casa del Alfarero and other organizations are trying to change that. These ladies are learning how to sew, and how to make tote bags out of plastic grocery bags. Last year they completed a similar project learning how to make doll clothes, which were sold in the US for a profit. Each of the ladies who worked on those clothes received a sewing machine bought with the profits. These ladies are smart and hard-working...but it takes people with skills to come and show them. It requires the sacrifice of people living in their comfortable homes to come to the dump, prepare a project, and love these ladies by teaching them-by showing them what they can accomplish.

Before I went to Guatemala I watched a movie called Reparando. It showcased the history of Guatemala, including the 36 year civil war the country only came out of about 15 years ago. They took cameras into the roughest places in Guatemala, including the dump. They showcased the hard things to see: starving children, violence, drugs...but they also showed hope and people who have dedicated their lives to changing things. One of the success stories they shared was the story of Dona Maria. She received a loan from Casa del Alfarero to start a small business. Her job...she finds parts to discarded dolls in the dump and puts them back together. She washes the grime away, dries the pieces, then sews the parts together to make it into a gift again. She takes something broken and makes it whole. She works to provide for her family and overcome poverty. While I was working there, I had the chance to meet Dona Maria and work on renovating her house. I

felt like I was meeting a movie star..someone more important than Jennifer Aniston or Brad Pitt.

These kids are precious too. They are so ready to love and be loved that it blows my mind away. Even when they've been through some really bad situations, and maybe they've never been loved, they still have the mark of their Creator on them. They still seek to be in healthy relationship--to love.

En Busca de Tesoros en el Basurero [Looking for Treasures in the Dump]

Casa del Alfarero (Potter's House) is an organization on the outskirts of the Guatemala City garbage dump, the largest garbage dump in Central America. 11,000 people depend on the

dump for survival in one way or another. Every day, people scavenge in the dump looking for recyclables or other valuables they can sell to make the equivalent of 2-5 US dollars each day. They line up behind the huge yellow garbage trucks, men first then woman, and search for whatever was leftover by the garbage truck driver and his helper because they get first pick. When Casa del Alfarero (Potter's House) first started working with the children here they asked the kids what they wanted to be when they grew up. They would say they wanted to be a garbage truck driver - because to them they was as far as they could see, that was as good as it gets.

When the dump is covered over with dirt and the trucks start carting garbage to the next area, squatters come to settle on that land. Those with no other option clear a spot and build a shack with wood and pieces of aluminum - single mothers with children, lonely men, and whole families. If they are fortunate, they have the opportunity to build a home with concrete blocks.

When you enter zone 3 of Guatemala city, you can begin to smell the dump. Every morning, when I arrive at Casa del Alfarero a pungent smell attacks me when I open the car door. The people who live here live with that smell. They don't leave at the end of the day to go back to a cozy apartment, take a shower, eat a full meal, watch a movie, then snuggle into bed. Instead, they wash their clothes in buckets and hang them in the street on lines strung from poles. They cook food on a concrete fire-burning stove or an old electric stove. They chase mangy dogs away from stands selling fruit, vegetables and meat - all setting out in the open air attracting flies. The communities right outside the dump are cities within themselves. Entrepreneurs start businesses trying to make a living. On every street corner, woman make tortillas and families run tiendas.

Coming to a place like this every day takes a toll. On the way to the houses, we pass men lying on the side of the road either too high or drunk to get up, with eyes barely open and

rolling back into their sockets. Dogs fight in the street while dirty-faced kids play soccer and everyone dodges pickups filled with people and recyclables.

Sometimes the contrast is shocking. Women and little girls wear their best clothes, but they get mud and trash stuck to the bottoms of their platform heels. Kids in school uniforms fill the narrow streets and alleys twice a day either coming from or going to school. Sellers carrying baskets of old doughnuts or other food yell down the road. The banana car makes its rounds. "Bananos cinco por una bolsa!!" blares out of the loudspeaker.

I have spent the last three and a half weeks in a place that would take a year to describe. Every day I was there seemed like a week. I thought I experienced real life when I went to inner city Atlanta on a mission trip. I thought I understood more every time I went down to Indianapolis to talk to homeless people, but this is real life. This place and these people were not part of my reality before. If this is life for people then it should be part of my life too. If this is reality for them, it should be part of my reality too. I should never go another day without thinking about them and their life. I should not go another day without thinking about this reality...asking God what He wants to do about it -- what He wants me to do about it.

Una Fin de Semana con los Niños de los Pueblos

Kids are the same everywhere. They have the same spirit, the same energy, and the same preciousness in the eyes of the Father.

Last weekend I went to Jocotan village in the south-eastern part of Guatemala to do Kids' clubs for the children there. I went with Don Fausto and his daughter, Grace. This family has been incredibly gracious to host me for the remainder of my time in Guatemala. Don Fausto Cebeira and his wife, Miriam, have built the Fundacion de Emmanuel from the ground up. This foudnation supports about 150-160 churches and about 5 radio station plants, most of them in the most needy parts of the country, including two churches in Spain and Cuba.

While in Jocotan, Grace and I planned and did three Kid's Clubs in Jocotan and in two rural villages nearby. The Jocotan area is 400 meters above sea level and has soil that is less than ideal for crops, which is the livelihood of most of the people in the area. In order to get to the village quickly and safely, the Cebeira's travel by helicopter when the weather is good.

In Jocotan, the kids are adequately dressed for the most part. They appear to be well-nourished in comparison with the children in the second rural village we visited on Sunday, Quebrada Seca, but in comparison with what real health and happiness looks like, what the Lord wants for each of those kids, their circumstances are heart-breaking. One girl sat in a back pew of the church with a vacant stare that never went away. I found out that she is almost solely responsible for taking care of her brothers and sisters. She was young and tiny, but after leaving for a minute she came back holding the hand of an even smaller little girl—her younger sister. At craft time she made a crown for her younger sister before making one for herself. She gathered crayons for both of them—she was a mother before she should have to be.

One of the other kids, Carlos, was the most hyperactive of all of the kids in Jocotan. He was funny and energetic, but a handful, requiring love and patience. Instead, when his older brother is home, Carlos is tied up with chains to keep him under control.

At the first village we went to, Uxurja, we waited at a half-finished church in the middle of the mountains for the kids to come. After we had prayed with the local pastors and right before we were about to leave about five kids came walking down the road—if this is why God has us here then it would still be good. We ended up doing our program twice because more and more children kept coming. Two very sincere boys raised their hands when it was time for the altar call. In an area paralyzed by witchcraft, the new church there and the pastor will be very important for those kids.

At the second village there were children already waiting. The church in that village started with a congregation of only children and had grown to include three families. The children there had bloated stomachs and water running down their cheeks—I couldn't tell if it was tears or sweat. In different areas of Guatemala the people speak about 26 different indigenous languages. The kids here speak one of the indigenous languages and Spanish. They didn't always understand every word we used in our program. Grace had to explain to them the word for “fair.” This is a concept they just didn't understand. It seemed they hadn't been exposed to it before we came to tell them about our sins and how Jesus carries that load for us if we will only give it to Him.

It the midst of the heart-breaking circumstances I saw in these villages, there was still hope. The kind of penetrating light that only God is capable of, through the hard-work and dedication of His people.

The pastor at the second village used to be just like one of the kids he now pastors. He is a Shorti, one of the people indigenous to the area. When Don Fausto met him, he was interested in Theology. He had gotten saved in Jocotan after walking in to town for church. Don Fausto offered him an opportunity to attend the seminary the Fundacion de Emmanuel founded and operates. After deliberation, his family decided they would let him go, but he was terrified. He had no shoes and saved the food he got at McDonald's in case they gave him no more at the seminary. Today, he wears black loafers, black dressed pants and shirt, with a cell phone tucked in his pocket. He is great with kids and led them in songs for us. He is working for the next generation. He knows where they are at.

In Jocotan there is a boy who thinks he is very cool. Before coming to the first kid's church service, he showed off by doing flips in the field for Grace and I. He posed for photos and laughed at the pictures. What isn't immediately apparent is that he is looking for something. He is the only one in his family who comes to church. He comes alone, but he comes regularly. Even though he might be too cool for it, when we left, he gave Grace and I each a big hug.

Grace told me stories about another mission trip she helped on in the area. One woman had a baby so small the doctors couldn't tell she was holding a child. They finally convinced her to let them treat the dying child, but she wasn't concerned because she had already accepted that the child wouldn't live, as many mothers must. The doctors also took pictures of each patient before they left and gave them a copy. Many of them had never had a picture taken. One woman insisted that the picture was not of her. The doctors had to show her that she was wearing the same clothes. She was shocked because she didn't know what she looked like. Only 4 hours of driving away from the thriving metropolis of Guatemala City and there are people living like they are still in the Stone Ages. Darkness has a huge grip of fear of these people. Enough to keep them from never leaving their village.

When there are situations like this in the world and we know the Truth, what is our responsibility?

Dios Ama a los Niños

One of the first awesome things I got to do while I was at Casa Bernabe was go down the road to watch the boys' futbol team play. While there, I got to sit with my new friend. This girl was the first friend I made at CB and she has been a joy the whole time I've been here. I met her while sitting upstairs during an ice cream party...surrounded by 160 kids eating cups full of ice cream, chocolate and sprinkles. From that moment on she would always greet me and give me hugs. She made it easy to love on her because she was so loving right away. It amazes me how open and friendly a child can be after they have gone through the types of terrible circumstances that cause them to end up at Casa Bernabe. When I started hanging out with the girls in Casa Promesa (the oldest girls' dorm here at CB), I discovered that she lived there. Tonight, as I left Casa Bernabe she gave me the longest hug of the night and teared up as she said goodbye. I'm not gone yet and I already want to come back.

This girl has almost exactly the same name as my first amiga (I'm not mentioning any names for the safety and security of the girls), which is very appropriate because she quickly became one of mi amigas mejor (best friends). She lives in Promesa as well and spent most of the beginning of our relationship making fun of me in Spanish at the dinner table. I never would have guessed that a week before I left she would be asking when I'm leaving and at that moment I never would have thought that I would be broken-hearted to be saying goodbye not knowing when I'm coming back.

One day after an impromptu dance party the girls in Promesa moved all the furniture out of the living room and starting doing a dance routine...after a little Spanish translation, I found out that they were practicing for the Despadida that night (a Despadida is a program put on for mission groups that are leaving CB all the kids participate in them). The two girls in the front did flips off the stage at the very beginning and put on an awesome show. The girl on the left is quiet and shy with me, but obviously knows how to let loose when she wants to. The girl on the right is extremely funny. She speaks pretty good English and will help translate things. Tonight at my going away she gave the most hilarious send-off in Spanglish complete with an "amen," fits of laughter, and handed my card to me with a "This is for you, babe."

This little lady is the biggest handful out of all the girls in Promesa. Our relationship started at a ping pong table in Edgar's house (their "houseparent" and the sub-director of the orphanage). Little did I know what I was getting myself into after our ping pong game as I chased her around a parked SUV to tickle her. From that point on she constantly asked for "cosquillos" (tickle in Spanish). This girl is a wild child...asking for cosquillos, playing with our hair, demanding to paint our fingernails, jumping on top of us and sometimes getting a little too rough.

It's in some of these moments that our patience was tested and we were challenged to discipline with love, but it's also in these moments that some of the best memories were made. It's surprising how little things we are often unaware of sometimes show the most love, or the lack thereof. A tone of voice or a little pat can help tell these kids they are loved, when a lack thereof would tell them they are not. They notice even if the other person doesn't. Love and patience leads to tickle fights like this one...some of the best times with these girls. :-)

These are some of the kids from CB on a ride at Mundo Petapa. The whole orphanage was sponsored to go to a very nice amusement park. For almost all of the kids it was their first time ever. I love when groups come and sponsor an outing. But it also reminds me that these kids don't have a family to go to an amusement park with. Their memories won't be of a family outing with mom and dad, but with 159 other kids who are in the same situation as them.

These kids are the children of the Casa Bernabe sub-director and his wife. Jami and I got to baby sit them one afternoon. They are adorable...and bilingual! So impressive. The boy on the right is all that and a bag of chips. The oldest boys' house, Nuevo Pacto, is full of a lot of pre-teen and teenage boys that are so much fun! But they also need a lot of guidance. That's one area where Casa needs more help. They are always in need of house parents, especially for the older children. One of the most encouraging things was to watch some of the incredible people God has brought to Casa. One social worker from Canada has commitment years to this place. He is a younger man who is an incredible example to the boys in Nuevo Pacto. He loves them, has fun with them, but always draws the line when they go too far and say something inappropriate. They see him do devos, lead worship in church, and generally love people like Jesus. This is what the Christian life looks like. It's beautiful.

Strawberry Fields and Fiestas

Weeks go by faster here, but days go by slower. So many things happen each day that time seems to move twice as slow from breakfast to bedtime, but when each week is over it's hard to believe it's gone already.

Last weekend most of my time was spent in the new nursing clinic that has been in the works for 3 years. After so much construction, we had to deep clean to prepare it for the dedication ceremony. This clinic is going to be available to children as well as adults. It's such an important addition for Casa Bernabe and for the community here. Most of my work has been in it so it was very cool for me to be able to work on it then get to see it dedicated. So many people over the years have spent time working on it and didn't get the privilege of seeing the final product.

One of the many reasons why I love Guatemalan culture is that they really know how to party...and as long as I've been at Casa Bernabe there has always been a fiesta for one reason or another. We celebrate when people leave, when people come, when people have birthdays, and when the clinic was dedicated. This typically means a lot of awesome food, singing, dancing, games and simply the opportunity to spend time with everyone.

Sometimes we have fiestas just because we want to celebrate. Nuevo Pacto (the oldest boys casa) had a party to thank the Morris family for their work making new bunk beds for their house. The family had brought a Wii that was donated by someone from their church so all the boys and volunteers got to have a dance party with Just Dance 2.

After most of the work on the clinic was done, I helped Sherie and Kassidy, of the amazing Morris family, stain the new bunk beds Jeff Morris was making for Nuevo Pacto (the oldest boys house). After getting all the boards covered in stain and making a mess, including some hair dunking into an open container of stain, we felt pretty accomplished.

On July 4th, I forgot it was July 4th. For some reason our Independence Day just isn't a big deal here. Most of the morning, I worked with Jami and the Morris family in Nuevo Pacto to tear down old bunk beds, move ones that were too big to a bigger room and build new ones. The entire orphanage is built on a hillside with casas and buildings at various levels. This means that when you work on something in the wood shop at the bottom of Casa's part of the mountainside you have to carry it up the stairs all the way at the top to bring it to Nuevo Pacto. This also means that when you are taking old scrap wood from old beds to the woodshop you're better off just throwing it down the hill.

Working in Nuevo Pacto was an awesome opportunity to get to know some of the boys there and practice Spanish with them. The boys helped with the work. They are all so helpful and understanding of the language barrier. Most of the boys speak at least a little English and are willing to help me learn more Spanish. They all are hard workers and were excited about working with power tools and demolishing things (I'm making a list of things that are the same no matter what culture you are in and teenage boys wanting to demolish things is going on it). Each boy has such a distinct personality I loved working with them.

Since it was July 4th, we didn't spend the entire day building beds. The Morris family cooked steak and chicken and other people contributed food so all the Americanos could have a traditional cookout...complete with fireworks after dark.

Casa Bernabe is a beautiful place. Most importantly, the people are beautiful. The kids who live here and the adults who serve here have the most lovely spirits. To complement that atmosphere, the landscape captures your heart too.

I hope (and highly doubt) that even the people who live here

ever get used to and take for granted the beautiful surroundings.

When this place looks like this, it's hard to consider anything really hard work. I weeded the new strawberry field with Cheryl and Sydney (two other short-term volunteers). As we pulled weeds, making sure to avoid the tiny new strawberry plants, we talked about our relationships with the Lord. I had the opportunity to hear Sydney's testimony and to share mine with her. After we finished working, we sat down in the middle of the strawberry field and talked about the Lord, about life, and about why we were there...how three girls from California, Texas, and Indiana ended up at the same orphanage in Guatemala to learn how to have more faith, love better and serve the Lord.

It's such a blessing to hear these stories because it always reminds me that no matter how different our lives are, how varied our experiences, the Lord always works in the same way. He works with faithful patience, gentle love, and a firm understanding of our hearts. How undeserving we each are, but He uses that to his glory. It shows how deep and unfailing His love is when we wander and are brought back, or when we don't understand and He explains it so that we can understand.

Last Saturday, we had the opportunity to go to Antigua. We saw only a small portion of the city, but it was beautiful and so much fun...

Jami and I at Mirador de la Crux (Overlook of the Cross) & me at the tourist market

Jami and I at the Rainbow Cafe & me with a delicious Licuado con Pineapple y Mango

So many things happen here that it's hard to share it all. So far, many of my posts have been about activities and things we have the opportunity to do with the kids, but the kids themselves are a story and a half each. They deserve a post all their own. Soon I will write about the kids here to share some stories and photos. God loves His children so much and it's great to see how blessed each of these kids are to be in such a loving orphanage, but it's still that...an orphanage. Each child that is here represents the brokenness that is in our world...brokenness that affected their lives. But every story is also about the hope that the Lord brings to any situation. That post will be coming soon.

Please keep me in your prayers as I fight a cold and process everything. Please remember all the health of the volunteers and staff here as many people deal with illness. Also, pray for the kids who are waiting for adoption to be finalized...and one who is waiting for a 10 year student visa so he can go home with a Casa Bernabe administrator from the States when she goes home after this visit.

Thank you for all your support and prayers.

Laur

In Limbo in His Care

On any given day here there is more to tell than I can communicate in a blog post. A hundred scents tell about the clean rain, the food scraps we save for the pigs, the burning matches from searing bracelets, and the fresh white paint on the doors of the new nursing clinic.

The noise of vehicles honking outside our window, kids yelling and running around, and quick Spanish flowing off tongues all around me bombards my ears.

The language barrier can be a bit intimidating at times. I am learning and I feel like Spanish is an easier language to learn than many others, but it's still a challenge. I faced my anxiety about that barrier head on last Saturday. I needed to find Jami, but had to walk into a crazy room full of women and girls, all speaking Spanish. The results of that endeavor...

These ladies are Erica and Estri. They were part of a women's group from zona 19 in Guatemala City who came to give gifts, cook food for, and pamper the girls of La Promesa (the casa I spend most of my time in). Apparently this treatment included anyone serving in the casa, so they lavished us with love. Working to bridge the language barrier (kindly working with out broken Spanish), they asked if I wanted my toes painted then proceeded to give me an entire pedicure. They didn't rush any step...treating me as family or a friend, instead of someone they just met. I was very moved by their care and hospitality.

We also watched the older boys and a couple of the adults from CB (Casa Bernabe) play on a soccer team at a field a few minutes down the road.

Obviously, futbol is a huge part of the culture here. Not only did we watch the casa team play,

and go to Pollo Campero (the Guatemalan equivalent of KFC and Pizza Hut in one) to watch the

US v. Mexico game, but we also went to a professional game this Tuesday. The Guatemalan national team had a special kids' day when all the children of Guatemala were invited. The entire orphanage had the opportunity to go if they wanted. A younger Guatemalan team played El Salv

ador and the Guatemalan national team played South Korea. They played or sang "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban at least four times, and the South Korean Team (named simply "Alleluia") did choreographed dance moves to the song "God is Big," which we translated into Spanish and sang even after returning to the orphanage. Just picture an entire team of professional soccer players mimicking an elephant while dancing and you can imagine how much we laughed.

This little guy is the soon-to-be adopted son of Edgar, the "head honcho" and a really great guy.

On Sunday, we had church. It was a visit day when many of the children's families come to visit. Most of the kids here aren't technically orphans. They actually have parents who can't or won't care for them. It's difficult to see kids with the families whom they won't get to go home with.

This was also the first day I had the opportunity to spend time with the chicas of Casa la Promesa. We had the opportunity to go to Edgar's house with the girls he used to be a house parent for (he used to live at la Promesa). We watched a movie about...you guessed it...soccer. We drank Guatemalan coffee and played ping pong.

Cultural difference # 17: The kids (at least at Casa Bernabe) love to be tickled. They practically beg for it. So we spent so much time tickling, playing keep away with a balloon, and a modified version of hide and seek. As the tallest person at the casa (and almost anywhere else when it's only me and Guatemalans), I won that game...until the girls got stools to stand on or use to poke the balloon. During hide and seek they had us hiding behind clothes, under beds (where I got stuck), and in showers with puddles of water and dripping shower heads. This time was probably my favorite time in Guatemala so far.

Jami and I both agreed that we feel stuck in limbo between languages. As I try to learn Spanish, I struggle to communicate and remember how to speak. When I switch back to English, I am still in the mode of trying to learn Spanish so my mind and mouth fails me with English as well. I feel as if I can't communicate at all. It's a funny situation to be in.

That's where God often likes us to be...in places that make us uncomfortable and stretch us. He wants us to be where we have to fail and rely on Him, or where we have to confront things in ourselves that keep us from serving Him fully.